When there’s a burning in your heart…

…it’s probably from something you ate.

Or maybe from laughing so hard because you are one graceless broad?

You see, I’m not the classiest person you will ever come across.

I’ve given up on giving that impression years ago.

The other day at the office, I went to sit down on my swivel chair.

Now, I get these great ideas in my mind that seem like they would translate well from the brain into real life.

I thought:

“Okay once my bottom lands on the chair,

I’m going to push myself off with my legs towards the direction of the phone.”

Think Michael J. Fox in the opening credits of “Family Ties.”  What? No one else remembers what I am talking about? See 0:35 of video:

If ever you doubted that my mind is full of useless information, here is your confirmation!

This way, I think, I save time.

Why?

Because time is money in business, folks, that’s why.

Even 2 seconds is costly.

Unfortunately the execution of my move did not go exactly as planned.

In fact, my legs got a head start and not knowing their own strength….

I completely missed my chair, went flying over it, only to find myself land straight on my left side.

Did I mention I had a skirt on?

 Happens way too often.

So for those of us who might have been absent the day the attribute of grace was being handed out,

Here is a graceful dinner that will have everyone fooled that you are an actual swan in the kitchen.

Pasta for the Classy Recipe

Adapted from VeganYumYum

Serves 4

INGREDIENTS

For the sauce:

• 1 potato, chopped in small bits
• 2 carrots, chopped in small bits
• 1/2 c. nutritional yeast
• 1/2 c. cashews
• juice of 1 lemon
• 2 Tbs dijon mustard
• 3 Tbs Earth Balance, softened
• 1 Tb Worcestershire sauce, vegan brand
• 1 tsp salt

For the pasta:

• 2 c. uncooked gluten-free rotini pasta, cooked al dente
• 1 head broccoli, chopped into florets and steamed (place in sauce pan with 2 Tbs water, bring to boil, cover and simmer on low for approx 10 min).
• 1 onion, sliced thinly and sauteed in skillet until lightly brown.
• 1/2 c. GF breadcrumbs (I had croutons from The Sensitive Baker that I ground up)
• Paprika for sprinkling

DIRECTIONS

1. In a small saucepan, boil potato and carrots for 7 minutes or until soft.
2. Place all ingredients for the sauce into a blender until mixed completely. Season to taste if needed.
3. Place pasta, onions, sauce and broccoli into a bowl and stir until everything is combined.
4. Place into individual ramekins. Top with breadcrumbs and paprika. Bake at 350 degree for 20-25 minutes.

Here’s to owning the fact that we are clumsy. But damn, can we cook!